Tuesday, 21 April 2020
Proverbs 21.9, 19 ESV
It is better to live in a corner of the housetop
than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Pro. 21.9, 25.24
It is better to live in a desert land
than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman. Pro. 21.19
A foolish son is ruin to his father,
and a wife’s quarrelling is a continual dripping of rain. Pro. 19.13
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Pro. 12.4
Talking about women and wives, the most qualified person I believe is none other than King Solomon. He had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Solomon must have experienced and felt the pain of living with quarrelsome and contentious wives. God inspired Solomon to write on this difficult subject to give advice to men and women on marriage. He wrote these to warn his sons about the seriousness of an unhappy marriage and foolish children. Either of this problem will eventually destroy a man.
For a man to marry the right woman spells success or living heaven on earth, the wrong person can be a life sentence. Solomon in the above verses warns us about a type of woman whom he calls quarrelsome or contentious.
Who is a quarrelsome woman? She is one who likes to fight, argues, criticizes, disagrees, opposes, or question. She can’t control her anger; easily agitated, dissatisfied, irritated. She is very negative and resentful. She talks a lot and must express her opinions, openly corrects others, questions everything, and constantly gives suggestions no one asked for. She has difficulty thinking, speaking or acting graciously, because she just cannot see the good in another person and to appreciate people around her. She is an arrogant, haughty, irritating and obnoxious person. Some men too who behave in similar ways. Whenever quarrelsome people are around, they will be contention and strife. There will be no peace and harmony.
Solomon repeated this issue many times. It must have been a common problem in the home setting. This issue is disruptive in the home in the context of these scriptures. What are you to do if you have a wife like this? He recommends that “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop.” Or “It is better to live in a desert land.” Yes, living with a contentious person, it will literally drive you up the roof. If she still comes after you, you may have to run a little further into the solitary desert. It is still better out in the sun, rain and storms than living in a comfortable home, nice bed and delicious food. Unfortunately, during the Coronavirus, there is no place to run. The next course of action is to stop her from nagging, and provoking. Rain in the Middle East is a welcome thing. It refreshing and helps helpful for the vegetation. But the continual drip is inside the house. The constant dripping drives you crazy. A nagging woman is similar. Forget about stopping her, it is like restraining the wind and grasping oil with your hand. If you want to reason with her, you might as well try to reason with a bear whose cubs were taken away.
A continual dripping on a rainy day
and a quarrelsome wife are alike; Pro. 27.15
to restrain her is to restrain the wind
or to grasp oil in one’s right hand. Pro. 27.16
Solomon observes there that there are many virtuous or excellent wife too. He says.
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Pro. 12.4
Who is a virtuous wife/woman? A virtuous woman is one who fears God. She is a noble, gracious, diligent and loving woman. She seeks to do things to please God and her husband. She is a cheerful and loving companion. She is a loyal and faithful supporter. She is his ardent friend, most trusted confidant and tireless helper. She is his love for life. She is thankful and grateful to God for giving her a warm and harmonious family. She lives in contentment and rejoices each day God has given her. Such a woman is the crown of her husband.
What is this “crown” to the husband? Solomon uses this as a metaphor. A crown is for the king. It is a sign of honour. A crown is also commonly used to honour the excellent achievements of athletes. An excellent wife brings honour and esteem to her husband when she lives in the fear of the Lord, being respective for the husband and a good example to her children. Such a woman receives praise and blessings from her husband and children.
On the other hand, a quarrelsome wife brings shame to the husband. It is like cancer to his bones. It will slowly but surely destroy him from the inside.
Wives! The Bible is like a mirror. Examine yourself in the light of God’s word. You may be concerned about what the world thinks about you. You may be more concerned bout the outward aspect of you. But God looks deep into the recesses of your heart. Am I a quarrelsome or gracious person? May you desire to be a person who wants to fear God and want to please Him above all else.
Husbands! If you are married to a quarrelsome wife, what can you do? You may have to move to the attic to have some peace and quietness. But a better alternative is to seek help from a Pastor or Elder to honestly look at the instructions given in the Bible to help you to live in joy and harmony.
Singles! Don’t rush into marriage! In fact, not all are suitable to get married, being single and getting married is a gift. Make sure the person whom you marry is a person who fears God and walk in way of the Lord daily.
Prayer for today
O, gracious heavenly Father, we praise and thank you for your steadfast love and faithfulness. We thank you for Adriel’s successful cardiac operation. We thank you for the wisdom and skills of Drs. Sivakuma and Mansi and the rest of the medical team. Father, we give praise to you for answering our prayers for Adriel. We continue to commit his life into your precious hands. Watch over him, strengthen him, protect him from evil and harm, that he will grow up to testify to your mercy and greatness. We commit his parents to you, help them to look up to you for courage and strength to help Adriel to grow up into your likeness.
O Lord, we thank you for each of our homes. We are grateful for homes that we enjoy each other. The lockdown is a wonderful time to strengthen the bonds of relationship in the home. Lord, we commit homes that are not functioning well as a family. We are constantly in strife and contention. There are times it is almost unbearable. Literally, there is no place to run. O Lord, we ask you will help us to look at today’s Proverbs, you reveal to us things that are not pleasing in your sight. Help us to repent and ask for your forgiveness. Grant us the humility to seek forgiveness, and help us to overlook the wrongs of each other in the past. Remove the guilt and restore the joy in our homes, grant us homes that are filled with warmth and love that Christ can shine through our lives for your glory.
Lord, we pray for many who are singles in our midst. We pray for wisdom as they seek you for a life companion. Deliver them from following the worldly ways in their search. Guide them with your Holy Spirit and grant them their heart’s desire.
O Lord, bless our homes where fathers love their wives and children as you love us. Help our mothers to be submissive to their husbands and children be obedient to their parents. Forgive us, Lord, when we try to change these principles as taught by you. Give us the wisdom and humility to obey your word and be obedient children to you. Lord, you taught us that wise people are those who not only listen but obey your words. You promise us that homes built on the solid rock of Christ will be able to withstand the storms of life.
We thank you in Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Pastor Isaac Yim
箴言21：9 宁 可 住 在 房 顶 的 角 上 ， 不 在 宽 阔 的 房 屋 与 争 吵 的 妇 人 同 住 。
箴言21：19 宁 可 住 在 旷 野 ， 不 与 争 吵 使 气 的 妇 人 同 住 。
箴言19：13 愚 昧 的 儿 子 是 父 亲 的 祸 患 ； 妻 子 的 争 吵 如 雨 连 连 滴 漏 。
箴言12：4 才 德 的 妇 人 是 丈 夫 的 冠 冕 ； 贻 羞 的 妇 人 如 同 朽 烂 在 他 丈 夫 的 骨 中 。
论到妇女和妻子，我相信所罗门王是最有资格的人。 他有700个妻子和300个妾。 所罗门王肯定经历并感受过与争吵和有争议的妻子生活的痛苦。 上帝感动所罗门王写下这个难题，给男人和女人婚姻提出建议。 他写这些话来警告他的儿子们关于不幸的婚姻和愚蠢的孩子的严重性。 两者之一都可毁掉一个人。
争吵的女人是怎么样的？ 她把战斗、争论、批评、反对、质疑为喜爱。 她轻易发怒、不满、恼怒。 她非常消极和怨恨。 她很唠叨、忍不住表达自己的意见、公开批评别人、质疑一切、在任何事上都提出不利的意见。 她不善长思考、说话、优雅做事，因她看不见别人的好，也不珍惜她周围的人。 她很傲慢、烦人和令人讨厌。 这不仅限于女人，也有这类行的男人。 争吵的人不会使一个环境和平与和谐。
所罗门王多次重复这个问题。 这可能是他家庭环境中的常见问题。 从经文可以看出这个问题对一个家庭有极大的破坏性。 如果你有这样的妻子，你该怎么办？ 他建议，“宁可住在房顶的角上 ”，或“宁可住在旷野”。是的，跟一个争吵的人生活在一起真会把你气上你房顶的角落。她若仍然跟随你，你可能不得不跑得更远一点进入孤独的旷野。在太阳底下暴晒，雨淋风吹还胜于跟一个争吵的女人在同一个舒适的家，有漂亮的床和美味的食物。 不幸的是，在这疫情期间，我们没有地方可以逃。 下一个步骤就是阻止她唠叨和挑衅。 雨在中东地区是受欢迎的。 雨使环境清新，也对植物有利。 但是那在房子里不停的滴水让你疯狂。 一个唠叨的女人就是如此。 别想阻止她，阻止她便是等于拦阻风，也是右手抓油。想跟她有理沟通，还不如跟失去了小熊的母熊沟通。
箴言27：15 大 雨 之 日 连 连 滴 漏 ， 和 争 吵 的 妇 人 一 样 。
箴言27：16 想 拦 阻 他 的 ， 便 是 拦 阻 风 ， 也 是 右 手 抓 油 。
箴言12：4 才 德 的 妇 人 是 丈 夫 的 冠 冕 ； 贻 羞 的 妇 人 如 同 朽 烂 在 他 丈 夫 的 骨 中。
谁是一个贤淑或才德的妻子/女人？ 才德的女人是一个敬畏上帝的人。 她是有才德，有恩慈，勤奋和爱心的女人。 她做事为上帝和她丈夫的喜悦。 她是一个开朗和充满爱心的伴侣。 她是一个忠诚和忠实的支持者。 她是他热心的朋友，最值得信赖的知己和不懈的帮手。 她是他一生的爱人。 她感谢上帝给她一个温暖和谐的家庭。 她每天对生活满足和欢喜。 这样的女人是她丈夫的冠冕。
这丈夫的“冠冕”究竟是什么？ 所罗门用这个词为一个比喻。 冠冕是给国王的。这是荣誉的标志。 冠冕也通常用于表彰运动员的优秀成就。 一个优秀的妻子对上帝敬畏，她给丈夫带来荣誉和尊重，给孩子一个很好的榜样。 她的儿女和丈夫都称她有福、赞美她。
妻子们！ 圣经就像一面镜子。在神的话语审查自己。 你可能会担心世界对你的看法。 你可能更关心你的外在。但上帝深深地监察你内心深处。 我究竟是一个争吵的人，还是一个有恩慈的人呢？ 愿你渴望成为一个想要敬畏上帝，想要使祂喜悦过于一切的人。
哦，仁慈的天父，我们赞美和感谢你坚定的爱和信实。 我们为Adriel成功的心脏手术献上感恩。我们为Sivakumar和Mansi医生以及医疗团队的智慧和技能感谢您。天父，我们赞美您回应我们为Adriel的祷告。 我们将继续将他的生命交付给您宝贵的手中。 看守他，坚固他，保护他脱离凶恶和伤害，使他成长，见证您的怜悯和伟大。 我们把他的父母交托给你，帮助他们仰望您，得到从您而来的勇气和力量，以帮助Adriel成长，效法主。
哦主，我们为我们每个家庭感恩。 我们感谢您我们享受彼此的陪伴。封国是加强家庭关系的好机会。主，我们把破碎的家庭交托在您的手中。 我们经常处于冲突和争吵之中。 有时几乎无法忍受，确实无路可逃。 主啊，我们恳求您帮助我们看见今天的箴言，您向我们指出您不喜悦的事。帮助我们悔改，求您的饶恕。赐予我们谦卑寻找宽恕，并帮助我们原谅彼此过去的错误。消除内疚，恢复我们家中的喜乐，赐予我们充满温暖和爱的家庭，让基督透过我们的生命把荣耀归给您。
主啊，求您祝福我们的家庭，求您让父亲爱妻子和孩子，像您爱我们一样。 帮助我们的母亲顺从丈夫，孩子顺从父母。 当我们不顺从圣经的教导时求您饶恕我们。让我们如孝顺的儿女，有智慧和谦卑服从你的话。 主您教导我们，聪明的人是那些不仅听您的话，他们也服从。 您向我们保证，建在基督坚固的磐石上的房屋能够抵御生命的风暴。